The Heart Teaches First
I was already raising three children when I truly began to understand the importance of emotional literacy. I had equipped them with many tools to navigate their feelings—mostly instinctively, through love, conversations, and presence. But I missed many opportunities to consciously support them in developing emotional and social skills in a deliberate, grounded way.
At that point, I had been an educator for over 15 years. I had taken countless college courses, attended workshops, and read piles of books. But like so many of life’s most important lessons, the real understanding didn’t come from a textbook. It came from experience.
One afternoon, I went to pick up my youngest daughter from her after-school program. She was in fourth grade, and I could tell immediately—something was wrong. She was crying. Through sobs, she told me what had happened.
My daughter kept a personal journal, a safe space where she wrote about her day—little celebrations and difficult emotions alike. On one of those pages, she had written something like: “I hate my teacher.” It was a private moment, an emotional release, not meant for anyone else’s eyes. But that page had fallen out and been found after school.
What happened next left me stunned.
Her classroom teacher, upon finding the paper, walked over to the after-school program and signed my daughter out—despite not being on the approved pick-up list. She took her back to the school and sat her down with the principal to reprimand her. My daughter cried through the whole ordeal, confused, ashamed, and deeply hurt.
When she told me this, my heart ached—not just for her, but for everyone involved. For the child whose feelings had gone unseen. For the teacher, who, likely acting out of frustration or hurt, responded in a way that widened the emotional gap instead of closing it. And for myself—as a mother and as an educator—realizing how little I truly knew about emotions in the classroom.
As I often do, I turned inward. I asked myself: What is there to learn from this?
That moment sparked a personal mission. I began to dig. I watched videos, read books, and searched for programs that addressed what I now knew was missing: emotional literacy and empathy at the heart of learning. That’s when I discovered Roots of Empathy.
Roots of Empathy is a program developed by Mary Gordon in Canada. It brings babies and their caregivers into classrooms so students can observe, over time, the development of emotional connections. Through guided reflection and observation, children learn about empathy, non-verbal cues, emotional regulation, and compassionate action.
What struck me most was the program’s simplicity—and its power. The baby became a teacher, showing students what it means to feel, connect, and be understood. It was a living lesson in humanity.
I thought: What if we had something like this in our school?
Bringing Empathy to Our Community
Inspired by Roots of Empathy, I began to design my own version of a social-emotional literacy program. It started small—morning circles, shared stories, emotional check-ins. We talked about feelings, gave them names, and created space to hold them without judgment. I invited parents to be part of the process, and slowly, we began to build a culture where emotions were not a disruption to learning—they were essential to it.
My practice as a teacher changed entirely. I stopped seeing behavior as something to fix and began seeing it as communication. I listened more, paused more, softened more. And my students responded with openness, honesty, and trust.
Closing Reflection
What happened to my daughter was painful—but it opened a door I didn’t know I needed to walk through. Now, I don’t just teach academics. I teach presence, empathy, and connection. And every day, I witness the difference it makes.
We often say children are our greatest teachers. I believe that. But only when we’re willing to listen—not just with our minds, but with our hearts.
